Tuesday, April 28, 2009

In Treatment...ARGH!

This is my confession for the week...

I've got to stop watching that damn "In Treatment" (HBO)! Don't get me wrong it is a great show. Great scripts, amazing cast...just smart TV. BUT it is literally driving me mad.

I watch one of those episodes where Paul really goes in with one of his patients and I suddenly feel that I need to run to the nearest therapist. All of a sudden a ton of stuff comes up into my psyche that has me questioning my sanity and the meaning of life.

At first, I thought I was just overreacting and getting caught up in the fanfare of great TV. However, I am on the 3rd or 4th week of the 2nd season and I am once again feeling this way.

Each character on the show seems to shine a light on one of my personality flaws.

Mia reminds me that I put up walls and am afraid to be really vulnerable with anyone
April reminds me that I gotta let the superwoman thing go because everyone needs help. It doesn't mean I am weak or selfish
Oliver and his wacky fam make me more afraid of marriage and having kids because I realize how much we can affect other people who we love and love us; especially our children
Walter reminds me that no matter how much I achieve I may never be satisfied. Also, that I am always so freakin anxiety ridden and if I don't chill out...I am gonna cause myself more harm than good
Paul's sessions with Gina reminds me that NO ONE HAS THIS LIFE THING FIGURED OUT! He's the therapist and he's just as screwed up (if not more) than his patients.

Where does all this realization get me? Deeper into self-deprecation and disappointment! Like, "Why did I need to know this again?"

What more can I say except that I think it is time to find a therapist that my insurance covers! Inquire within...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Ode to Earth Day

Dear Earth, my Earth
You've been so good to me
Much better than I've been to you
Much better than I've been to myself

Even when I trash and mistreat you
You find it in your heart to keep me alive
You give and give and give
While I just take and take

I know you are strong and may have been built to last
But you too can only take so much abuse
Everybody and everything needs a little love
And that includes you

In observance of your special day
I am going to vow to treat you better
I will remember the Biblical charge to
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"

I am going to be the best darn Earthling that I can be
Even as a New Yorker and cosmopolitan elite
You deserve better and the truth of the matter is
If I don't do something quick...

That may be it
For you
And for me
So dear Earth, my Earth...

Let's fall in love